Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
