Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
