I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sorry my hands just texted you
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
