Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
