I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
