Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i now understand why vodka
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
