windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
