Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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