dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
