why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
