Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
