After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
