i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i think my cat just said my name.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
