So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
