I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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