I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
