going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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