every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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