hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
