I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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