He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
