I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
