Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
