all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
