I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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