You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
