I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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