im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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