I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
