found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
