I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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