come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
