when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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