the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
