Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
