they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
