dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
