i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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