I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
it's like iHOP with fire
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
