I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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