just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
