I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
