just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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