Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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