I'm drive I can fine osifer
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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