You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
