ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
