god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
