we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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