I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize