Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
