he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
