I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
