So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
