why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
