that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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