Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
