and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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