i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
