He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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