chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
