she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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