a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
