i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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