she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
