Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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