Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
