so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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