i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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