i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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